You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
