I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
