well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
