Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We had to coat check the pizza.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
