It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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