Her vagina should come with caution tape.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
