Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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