You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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