I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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