and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm at about main and main street
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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