Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the day after is always just damage control
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize