I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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