I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
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