Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i was born a porn star she said
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
