I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
