ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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