Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
