I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
