VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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