therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
