3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
