The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
They are going to name an STD after you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
