It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
