Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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