I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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