In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize