Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
