I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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