I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
