its not stalking. its research.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
