Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
