Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
