I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
