Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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