Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
