I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
