Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
