They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
