This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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