I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
