I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
