none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize