It was confusing and full of hummus
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
