Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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