brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
