Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This house was built for laser tag.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
