Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
