Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize