Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
