I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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