ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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