Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
