Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
foreskin is a definite game changer
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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