loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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