there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
