I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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