Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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