I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
