i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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