I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize