I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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