how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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