Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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