i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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