the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't deserve a penis
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
