she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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