did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
